oklahoma Tax Relief Check

Got my tax relief check today. What a joke, a revenue surplus? Give me a break. I'd rather they kept the stupid $45 and fixed that bridge that killed the woman from Texas last year, or any of the other thousand bridges that need fixed in this crap hole state. Failing bridges, crappy roads, underfunded schools. The worst part, most of these dumb okies will gleefully run to the bank with their checks in their greasy hands and think what a wonderful government oklahoma has. Revenue surplus? No, stupidity at it's highest level, right here in oklahoma.

oklahoma Sucks.

More of the Same. Face it, oklahoma Sucks.

Morgan Quitno press is at it again. Publishing data about states in a variety of categories.

2005 most livable state rankings, as usual oklahoma is near the bottom at 43rd. Actually worse than last year by three!

2005 most dangerous state. Yep, you got it. oklahoma is the 14th out of 50th most dangerous state in the union. I'm getting a gun.

2005 healthiest state, ain't this place great? oklahoma comes in as the 46th least healthiest state. Yummy french fries & moon pies, huh?

2005 smartest state. Okay all you Okies, you are definately not rocket scientist material as you idiots come in as the 39th smartest (or should I say 11th dumbest?) state in the union.

oklahoma Sucks.

WINDOWS XP Oklahoma VERSION & DELL PC

WINDOWS XP Oklahoma VERSION

REDMOND, WA — It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Oklahoma Edition of Windows XP accompanied by a special edition Dell PC may have accidentally been shipped outside of Oklahoma.

If you have one of the Oklahoma Editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.

It reads: WINDERS XP with a background picture of General Lee on a Confederate Flag.

It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.

Also note the RECYCLE BIN is labeled "Outhouse". MY COMPUTER is called "This Infernal Contraption". DIALUP NETWORKING is called "Good Ol'Boys. CONTROL PANEL is known as "Dern Dashboard". The HARD DRIVE is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive". And the CD’s & DVD’s are "Them Little Ole Plastic Disk Thangs."

Other features: Instead of an ERROR MESSAGE you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww rite
Cancel = hail no
Reset = aww shoot
Yes = shore
No = Naaaa
Find = hunt-fer it
Go To = over yonder
Back = back yonder
Help = help me outa here
Stop = ternit off
Settings = sittins
Programs = stuff 'at does stuff
My Documents = stuff I done

And some MORE options, upgrades, and general stuff ...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-Rom drive.
4. The password is "Bubba".
5. The numeric keyboard only goes up to six.
6. WINDERS XP has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
7. Outgoing faxes automatically have beer stains on them.
8. The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.
9. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
10. The Menus all have Budweiser, Black Label, and old Milwaukee options.
11. Jeff Foxworthy*.wavs.
12. The monitor is up on blocks.
13. Seven blue tick hounds are under the desk.
14. Deer jerky is in the desk drawer.
15. The optional screen saver consists of a picture of Ned Beatty with Dueling Banjos playing in the background.
16. The six front keys have rotted out. The rest are covered with John Deer pocket savers.

Also note that WINDERS XP does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Oklahoma Edition by mistake. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

oklahoma Sucks.