Catchy Little Song about Okies, an original by me

I'm an Okie, by yours truly...

I'm an Okie and I'm a Schmuck,
When I smile people say yuck!
I love to drive my crappy ole' pickup truck,
I'm and Okie and I'm a Schmuck!

I'm an Okie and I'm dumb,
When I think my brain turns numb!
I can't chew food I can only gum,
I'm an Okie and I'm dumb!

I'm an Okie and I'm a dope,
For me to know better there ain't no hope!
I'm fat, lazy, stupid and I smoke,
I'm an Okie and I'm a dope!

I'm an Okie and I'm inbred,
My Momma and her cousin they did wed!
All us kids are nearly brain dead,
I'm an Okie and I'm inbred!

I'm an Okie and I'm a looser,
My dream car is a PT Cruiser!
My grandpa is an inbred boozer,
I'm an Okie and I'm a looser!

I'm an Okie can't you see,
that one plus one equals three!
My hero is General Lee,
I'm an Okie can't you see!

I'm an Okie and I can't drive,
It's a miracle I'm still alive!
If you see me comin' you better hide,
I'm an Okie and I can't drive!

I'm an Okie and I'm a Schmuck,
When I smile people say yuck!
I love to drive my crappy ole' pickup truck,
I'm and Okie and I'm a Schmuck!

oklahoma Sucks.

The Top 30 Things You'll Never Hear An Okie Say:

The Top 30 Things You'll Never Hear An Okie Say:

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling's fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: drive.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate.

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You All (It's y'all)

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

And, Number 1.: Nope, no more for me. I'm driving.

oklahoma Sucks.